Days of deprivation....

It's nearly 7 pm...just woke up after a long siesta...i received a message from one of my mates...i didn't like what he text me...it sounded something like this..." hey bro, have you done Mr Jaferi's assignment? "...and there i was thinking that i have done everything! I have exactly 5 hours until dateline.Come on Andy...Get your acts together.I knew i am going to have a hard time doing this as i didn't read that much when i was a child or a teenager.My dad and brother had gone to Perlis for a friends wedding and my eldest brother went back to his home.So i have the house all to myself.Its hard for me to concentrate on ideas when everyone's calling me for some reason.I was the 'concierge ' of the house.Mom would ask me where everything was.Some sort of like a walking directory.Anyway, back to my days of deprivation of books..well i have nothing against books.I just wasn't really interested in reading back then i guess.I was more a visual guy in the sense that i love looking at pictures and drawings.I love art.Reading is an art but not the art i was acquiring at that time.Anyway, a picture paints a thousand words.That's how i interpreted the story,the words behind the art that i have seen.

Although i didn't like reading, somehow rather my English grades were satisfactory almost all the time.I remember like it was yesterday, none of my English teachers have that passion to instill in their students the love for reading.It was like reading is something that you must do for the purpose of learning.But there was no motivation, no passion.I didn't see eye to eye with my teachers.I was always the silent one in school.I was extremely shy.I was afraid of what will happen if i were to open my mouth and ask questions.I guess i was at the wrong time and the wrong class.However, it didn't stop me from loving the language.I needed emotional guidance.But my shyness prevented me from telling.

I developed the interest for reading when i was 14...yes 14 it is.It was about to rain heavily outside.Mom went out to pick up the clothes.There i was wandering in and out of the room.I went into my parents room and was just walking and wandering as i was bored to death.I came across a shelf that my dad had installed the day before.There was a bunch of books neatly stored on it.A book caught my attention.It was a biography of our beloved Tun Dr Mahathir written by Mr Morais.Couldn't remember his full name.I know this sounds weird especially for a 14 year old reading a biography.It wasn't a political influence that made me want to read it.It was more about reading about a famous person's life story.Every word, every picture captured my attention.I have always admire Tun as he is an articulate, firm, and listens to the plight of Malaysians and puts Malaysia on the world map.It seems that Tun had a very fierce looking father and he was a teacher.I can see where Tun got his leadership qualities.Its in the blood.Last year in KLCC, the most bizarre thing happened.I was in Kinokuniya browsing through books and suddenly came in an entourage.One prominent figure stood out.It was him, the man himself.People started noticing and was eager to meet and shake hands with him.I stood at one corner and was in awe...and went straight to him and shook his hands..he smiled.That was good enough for me.Till this day, i still admire Tun and hope that he is still the Prime Minister.He is our savior.The book gave me a different perspective towards life and how one's hard work could influence and inspire others.The book was officially given to me by my dad and is in my possession.

The book inspire me to read more of the same genre.I began to develope a very high interest in true accounts, biographies, memoir's, and real life stories.There are too many too mention here but please, let me tell you of a book that i really..really love enjoy reading over and over again.This wasnt an early reading but more towards my young adult period.The title of the book is 'I AM MUSLIM' by Dina Zaman.I think Dina is an amazing writer.Her article about being a muslim in Malaysia has captured the difference aspects of religious life and the realities of it as seen and lived by Muslims themselves.There were many contradictions regarding the religion in todays society and the rapid changing of media and politics that has dictated the meaning of being a muslim in Malaysia.I am always intrigued by how we Muslims are living our lives with modernization and how it changes the way we see things through a Muslim's perspective.For instance, the muslim women in Malaysia are wearing veil or 'tudung' but her clothing are so body fitting that it highlights every inch of curves and assets of their body.This is not the princip of how a Muslim women should wear her clothes.

I know i maybe a bit different then other kids or teenagers as i didn't do the normal things that a teenager or a child would normally do.Other than the fact that i don't really read fiction, i have to change my mindset and start opening to other genre's...fiction to me is fake because it is created.But you might never know what the future has installed for you.I'm starting to read some fiction books but on a lighter scale..this is going to be challenging...we'll see what happens.

Continuation..

My first official week in Unitar...guess what...i have no class this week.How nice.I went to see Pn.Faridah who is the faculty executive.She explained to me that due to the conversion mode of the study and due to the lack of lecturers, i didnt have to come for the week.I didnt feel anything about it.I guess im so used to the whole situation, id figure i just go with the flow.Because ive always wanted to go back to school for a while as i felt that i needed a higher qualification.I certainly can work with my diploma but i cant be working using that qualification for the rest of my life, and in order to get a better job, i needed to get my degree.

I havent got my time table yet as I have not been registered in any course subject. Pn.Faridah had to fit me in with the seniors as i have many exemptions.Good news for me but it will be a bit complicated.This is a whole new ball game for me.I didnt know what to expect.I was quite terrified as well as i was the only first semester student who is taking a core subject together with the seniors.I was older than all of them but i feel a bit intimidated in terms of their knowledge.They have been there way before me.Im like a white canvas, just waiting to be painted on.

I didnt do much for the first week except doing some research on the subjects that i will be learning.Literature was very alien to me.Frankly speaking. i dont really read poetry.Its so rhythmic, so imaginative,yet so beautiful.Apparently im not so rhythmic in terms of expressing my thoughts and feelings.Im beginning to but i dont know how the end result is going to be like.Mr Najmi, my literature lecturer, happens to be a short term celebrity.He was one of the reality tv show Akademi Fantasia tutors.No wonder he looked familiar.He must be really good in what he's doing so i think im in good hands.I hope it wont be painful.He seems like an interesting guy.Funny in his own way. But he likes to pick on my weight...that made me feel a bit upset but he was only joking.Nevertheless, you know how it its when people say things about your physical.I have low self esteem and that didnt really help me.But i am determined to do this.I will survive this.

"The New Semester"

Or should i say..the first semester?anyway, here i am back in a higher learning institution.back as a student..trying to reach for that pinnacle which is so close yet so far..im not quite there yet.after 2 diploma's, i began to feel tired of studying.Sometimes i feel regret doing a second diploma..i mean have you heard anyone do 2 diploma's?its not always you hear that..i mean not that im being proud or anything but i work really hard to get those 2 diploma's.People think its a waste of time but i beg to differ..i've always have interest in doing so many things..i couldnt decide what i wanted to be.But i knew i wanted to do something which is related to art..i even dreamt of being a designer..even in secondary, my art teacher thought that id be a succesful designer one day...wait until she see's me now!

Anyway, back to my new semester or shall i say my first semester at Unitar, was just a normal experience.I've acquired about the program through an education fair that i went last April..after having a diploma in business and hotel management, its time that i venture into something which i think is more ME.I was struggling when i did my business diploma as i was not good with numbers..it was more of my parents wish for me to do it.So as a son i had to obliged although i hated it.I managed through but without flying colours.I dont know whats wrong with me.Why was i so afraid to tell them my real intentions...

After acquiring about the program, i decided to go with it.I mean how hard can english be..(think again)...my first choice was to go to a local university as i wanted to experience the real life as a student at a local university.Its different from private institutions as you are more taken care of and its more laidback in terms of environment, studying method, no hassle in terms service.Well im not saying that Unitar was a total chaos but theres room for improvement.I mean being a private institution, its has to be more well organized.I soon found out that the university was actually introducing a new type of study mode and My batch happens to be the lucky first or second batch under the conventional mode.I've always been in this mode from my previous studies and i think face to face is much better compared to online tutorial as there are no human interaction and can you imagine responding to a machine..i mean yes we are living in the age of technology but i guess im still traditional when it comes to studying..and have you ever thought that by doing this online way, we may have butcher the language silently as everything is done in the virtual world without speaking.

My first time registering at Unitar was a pleasant but confusing one.It went smoothly.I didnt really have much problem registering as i have gone through it not once but twice.Its just a different environment and new people.Although i must say, i find it very amusing and a bit sad when i looked at the fresh new students who are new to the university life..many of them had those scared,confused, look on the,..some are very eager and look forward to their new life as a university student.I sure can remember the old days when i had to went through the same process as they do.It didnt really bother em that much as i was worrying about myself more.We had our first orientation the next day after the registration.I had a shocked when i looked at the orientation schedule.The fact that it was held on a Sunday pissed me off.Better yet, it took the whole day to finish.As usual,orientations can be a bit boring and tiring but somehow rather, i was looking forward to it.Besides, you need to know who and what are the departments you need to go and see which you will definitely be doing later on.

My father sent me that morning.I was hesitant to go as i was still in holiday mood.My mind was still in Redang...there i was wearing my unitar t shirt which was in red and my black pants..i look like one of the chicken rice shop staff..the shirt didn't agree with me..it was tight..fits me like a glove..it highlighted all the wrong parts of my body..i was crying inside..i hated the fact that most people are not aware of a certain group of people who are different in terms of their size.Not everyone is perfect and i guess they forgot to take this matter into consideration.How nice!I braved myself into the building...as i entered the hall, all eyes were on me, as if i were a celebrity..or maybe because a huge guy just entered the hall..i dont know.

I met my first Unitar friend during this briefing..his name is Amin..i was hoping to meet someone who is doing the same course as i am..but i couldn't find any at this point.Amin is doing a degree in Hospitality management.I was more than happy to know that there is someone who is doing degree.I felt more secure after meeting Amin.He seem to be a very nice guy.We talked off and on while the briefing was being conducted.Infact, i didn't really pay much attention to the briefing except for the important ones.We exchanged phone numbers and became instant buddies.

When it came to the end of the briefing, i was so exhausted.My parents are not at home to pick me up.I had to take the bus.The Bus! Ive never taken the bus before and didn't think i will..anyway i managed to board the correct bus and got home safely...

Tomorrow is a new day....and that was my journey so far!Looking forward to the following week.